Most fantastically pompous ad ever:

"Aesthete, bibliophile, castle-builder, chronicler, collector, cosmopolite, epicure, optimistic pessimist, pacifist, pedant, philomath, not-quite-polyglot but contemplating fixing that. Incorrigible dreamer. Denizen of museums, art-house cinemas, libraries, concert halls, universities, cities of exceptional grandeur and antiquity, prodigious landscapes of uncommon splendor. Indefatigably curious, active cultivator of mind and body. Impelled by overwhelming internal compulsions: to muse abundantly, to render other-worldly imaginations, to voyage and wander hither and yon. Engrossed in the study of sciences, languages, history, philosophy, and the arts. Repelled by any bondslave of dogmas, superstition, religion, material anxiety, resignation or despair. Reckless, sometimes careless, never uncaring. Disciple of a crowded pantheon: exempli gratia, JS Bach, D Shostakovich, W Furtwängler, T Beecham, S Lem, L Tolstoy, A Kurosawa, I Bergman, A Tarkovksy, L Bunuel, B Keaton, G Marx, K Hamsun, T Bernhard, P O'Brian, A Damasio, D Dennett, C Darwin, M Holub, W Shakespeare, H Melville, A Akhmatova, TE Lawrence, M de Montaigne, K Issa, H Zinn, P Casals. Afflicted by Unamuno's sentimiento tragico de la vida. Dressed in order not to stand out in the Boulevard St-Michel or the Staré Mesto. Inclined to subject all things in life to a process of aesthetic refinement: dress, cuisine, speech, deportment, and every inhabited space, among others. Most fond of the light that arrives shortly after dawn and in the hours before dusk, when shadows are long. Enchanted by mysteries. Invigorated by rains."